The new Friday the 13th...
...sucks balls. Another horror-remake misfire from Platinum Dunes, the cadre of Michael Bay cronies who've already blown it with Texas Chainsaw and The Hitcher.I dunno what movie everybody else on the web has seen. MINE had a decent prologue and a couple of nice boobs, but the rest? Pure shit. The kills are lame, uncreative and shockingly bloodless. The cast of victims-to-be are broad and unlikable even for THIS franchise. And since fucking WHEN is Jason Vorhees a ninja? Not only can this character we're told is a shambling, mentally-handicapped hulk scramble up a bulding like Jason Bourne, he's a crack-shot archer and a master of electrical-espionage. And why the hell does JASON, of all movie-monsters, need his own Batcave secret lair? That's like if The Wolfman had a helicopter.
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